NEED TO KNOW
IMPORTANT THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW
- Learn the laws (statutes). Chapters 61, 39, and 1 are extremely
important (see Legal | Florida Laws).
- Learn the Rules of Family Procedures ("rules of the
court") (see Legal | Florida Laws).
- Keep a log of everything! This is a hard one to keep up
on, but the rewards are worth the effort. A pocket-sized notepad kept in the
car works well.
- Never lose you temper, especially if the kids are around.
Both for their benefit, and so it can't be used against you.
- Never discuss court issues with your kids. Both for their
benefit, and so it can't be used against you.
- Children are not a tool for punishing your ex. Never forget
this!
- Don't use your children for a communication path. Remember
this is between "the adults" and your kids need your love and stability.
Children need not worry about their parents behavior. The less they're involved,
the better for their healthy development.
- School records. Make sure that your information is listed
on all school documents such as emergency cards, contact information, pick
up information and parent contact list. This is a matter of importance for
your child's safety. You may have to push the schools on this issue, however
it is the law. Frequent non-combative appearances at the school is always
helpful to gain their compliance with your wishes.
- Have a witness at all times. Not an "in the face"
witness, just one to observe and listen. Make sure it is someone you can trust,
and will be willing to step into court for you if needed. Also it is a good
idea to make sure that they do not have any "skeletons" that will
harm your case.
- Concealed tape recordings should be considered in "heated"
situations, especially if you run the risk of a setup of "domestic violence"
claims. You should never let anyone know this. Also this is not "evidence
that you can use in court, however you can use taped conversations for the
purpose of impeaching a witness. Mostly this can be used if a fake call to
the police is planned, i.e., if you record your partner planning a call to
the police about domestic violence, you can play this tape to the officers
when they arrive in order to help prevent your being jailed.
- A court reporter is important all of your court appearances.
Without it, you may not be able to appeal, or even ask for reconsideration,
without a transcript of the proceeding.
- Know the "rules" for shared
parenting. If your ex is violating them, you can use them as
a basis for change of primary parent. Florida law and the Florida Supreme
Court mandate that the parent most likely to allow ongoing and continuing
contact will be primary, so add that and case law to your application for
change of primary residence.
- If you are hiring an attorney, interview many. Prepare
a list of questions, and ask them all your questions. Check with the State
Bar for complaints, and ask other DADS members if they know your attorney.
Ask the attorney about their cases and check them. Find out how much of their
practice is in family law. Family law changes often, and a specialist can
make a difference.
- Tell your lawyer everything. The courtroom is no place
for surprises.
- Understand your lawyer's priorities:
- Your lawyer's own best interest comes first
- Your lawyer's relationship to the judge comes second because he has many
cases that do / will come before the judge (relates to the first)
- Your case is third priority (at best)
- You need to be a partner to your lawyer for the best results.
